ADHD in Women: My Recent ADHD Diagnosis and What I’ve Learned So Far

As many of you know, I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and I want to talk about it more… I am still learning every day and I want to pass that along as it’s been quite eye opening

I’ve listened to parts of the following books (I can now say that in “classic ADHD fashion” I’ve started multiple books and finished none of them)

• ADHD is Awesome: A Guide To (Mostly) Thriving With ADHD

• ADHD for Smart Ass Women: How to Fall in Love with Your Neurodivergent Brain

• Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder

I’ve also listened to podcasts from Jenna Kutcher and Tracy Otsuka, and I highly recommend them both.

• Jenna & Tracy - Part 1: A Deep-Dive into ADHD for Women Entrepreneurs

• Jenna and Tracy - Part 2: Surprising Signs You Might Have ADHD

• Tracy’s podcast all about ADHD

If you’re not familiar with ADHD, let’s break it down!

ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, has long been associated with hyperactive boys in school classrooms. However, a growing body of research and awareness is shedding light on a group that has been historically overlooked: adult women with ADHD.

For many women, ADHD goes undiagnosed for years, leading to a lifetime of struggles with focus, organization, and self-esteem. This blog aims to explore the unique challenges faced by women with ADHD and the importance of recognizing and addressing this condition.

The Hidden Struggles of Women with ADHD

In my research, I’ve learned that ADHD in women often presents differently than it does in men, which can make it more difficult to identify - which is also why women tend to be diagnosed later in life. While boys with ADHD are often hyperactive and disruptive, girls and women are more likely to internalize their symptoms (#guilty). They may be daydreamers, forgetful, or disorganized, but without the overt hyperactivity, their struggles can easily be dismissed as laziness or lack of motivation.

As these girls grow into women, the pressures of adulthood—managing a career, household, relationships, and possibly children—can exacerbate their symptoms. For me, going full time in Eat More with Julia brought it to a head.

Many women with undiagnosed ADHD report feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks that others seem to manage with ease 0 this was why I finally sough diagnosis. I struggled with time management, forget important tasks, or found it nearly impossible to keep our new house organized. The constant feeling of being “scatterbrained” led to a lot of frustration and shame.

The Emotional Toll

The emotional impact of living with undiagnosed or untreated ADHD can be profound. Women with ADHD are often their harshest critics, berating themselves for not meeting the high expectations they or society have set. This internal dialogue can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. Women may feel like they’re constantly playing catch-up, never able to truly relax or enjoy their accomplishments because they’re always thinking about the next thing they need to do. I used to think I was simply a restless perfectionist… now I see that my brain may not actually work like others which makes getting things done harder for me.

Relationships can also be affected. Partners, friends, and family members might not understand why she struggles with certain tasks or why she seems to forget important things. I have gotten a mixed response from my own family with my diagnosis but Matt has been so helpful in being willing to understand how ADHD impacts me and how we can build family strategies so I am more capable around the house. I used to really feel like I’d let him down around the house by neglecting the little things, but I’m working on it with his support and we’re creating new structures as a couple!

The Power of Diagnosis

For many women, finally receiving an ADHD diagnosis is a life-changing moment. It can bring a sense of relief and validation—an explanation for the years of struggle. This piece was absolutely true for me, I felt a big weight lifted off my shoulders and a lot of shame fade away. Understanding that there’s a neurological basis for their challenges, rather than a character flaw, allows women to approach their lives with a new perspective.

Diagnosis is just the first step. Once ADHD is identified, women can begin to explore treatment options that work for them. This might include medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, or a combination of these approaches. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), in particular, can be beneficial in helping women develop strategies to manage their symptoms and change negative thought patterns. I am trying a blend of medication and lifestyle strategies!

I asked ChatGPT for some ideas and here’s the 5 it gave me:

Practical Strategies for Managing ADHD

While medication can be an important tool for managing ADHD, it’s not the only one. Here are some practical strategies that women with ADHD might find helpful:

1. Routine and Structure: Creating a daily routine can help manage time more effectively. Using planners, to-do lists, and setting reminders on your phone can ensure that important tasks don’t slip through the cracks. (this has been HUGE FOR ME, I make a super detailed daily to-do list in my notes app and instead of putting “work on membership” - I say things like “write 5-10 bullets about what’s included in membership” to help my brain feel less overwhelmed and more focused on a specific task)

2. Declutter Your Space: A cluttered environment can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm. Simplifying your surroundings and creating designated spaces for important items can reduce distractions. (I suck at cleaning but I’ve been aiming to work on this because I do find that less visual clutter helps me focus)

3. Mindfulness Practices: Techniques like mindfulness meditation can help improve focus and reduce stress. Even taking a few minutes each day to practice deep breathing can make a difference. (honestly, haven’t done this much BUT I want to explore it. I used to be much better at daily meditation and I lost the practice)

4. Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: Large projects can feel daunting, so break them down into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate small victories along the way to maintain motivation. (Like I shared in #1, this has worked so well for me!)

5. Ask for Help: Don’t be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or professionals. Whether it’s delegating tasks or finding an ADHD coach, you don’t have to do it all alone. (This!!! My nutrition coach has ADHD too so she’s been so helpful and supportive. I’m also debating joining an ADHD business owner mentorship group in September… stay tuned!!)

Raising awareness about ADHD in women is crucial. If you suspect you or someone you know might have ADHD, seeking a professional evaluation is the first step toward finding the right support. It’s also important to challenge the stereotypes that still surround ADHD. Women with ADHD are not lazy or disorganized by choice; they are navigating a brain that processes information differently.

By speaking openly about ADHD and sharing experiences, we can break the silence and stigma that often surround this condition… I have already tried so many tactics like body doubling and using stopwatches which helps me stay more focused then before. Empowering women with the knowledge and tools is so important to me - so I’ll keep sharing as I learn!

ADHD in adult women is a reality that many are only just beginning to understand. While the challenges are real, so too are the opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

It’s time to recognize and address ADHD in women, ensuring they no longer have to suffer in silence (I know I have been really comforted by knowing that there’s not something wrong with me… my brain is just different and I can ask for support!!)

Do you have ADHD too? Any advice for me?